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Hank has done two stretches in his short life of 5 years—it’s been 3-1/2 years since his last incarceration—and he won’t have to ever do time again. How anyone could take this guy to the pound and leave him is beyond me, yet not just one, but two have been able to do it.

Now while Hank plays a dumb dog on TV, he’s no idiot. Though, I’m sure onlookers thought otherwise as I’d try to call him and he’d just ignore me for the first few months after he got to his ‘forever’ home, and was getting used to his new name. He didn’t even respond to the lame-ass name the last abandoner gave to the SPCA, “Brucie.” Hank knows how to grab mindshare.

Hank’s marketing tactic of choice is the “I’m so pathetic look.” He does this to score cookies, walks, and to get his belly scratched. But Hank chalks up a win even if you only point out that he’s doing it and don’t convert (his tail starts wagging vigorously when you simply look at him). Why? Because when you’re paying attention to him in any form, you’re not paying attention to his competition, Hana (also a Lab) and Sam (the dumb cat).

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Vincent Vega said it best when he asked Mia if her $5 Martin and Lewis shake contained anything more than milk and ice cream: “That’s five dollars? They don’t put bourbon in it or nothin’?”

Now, while it’s not top on my list, this Americano is certainly more worthy of a $5 price tag.

Ingredients:

• 1oz Martini & Rossi Rosso Vermouth
• 1oz Campari
• Club Soda
• Lemon or Lime

Instructions:
Build over ice in a highball glass and add a twist.

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